Everybody Lies

Often times my thoughts fail to find their way to any tangible means, staying jumbled inside my head for I alone to listen and analyze. Today, however, my thoughts came to me in clear, concise sentences. It was as if I was not having the thoughts, but someone was beside me, reading them out to me. I can’t explain why this happened, but it was really a spectacular feeling. Each thought has stayed with me and come up more than once throughout the day, allowing me to really enjoy them. To the normal person, this would likely, in the least, sound very odd. The best way I can explain it is my thoughts are like sitting down being surrounded by ten separate books. You have been tasked with reading them all within a time restriction of three hours. Obviously this is a daunting, probably impossible task. That feeling given the scenario is what I feel like when I’m just thinking. It’s what I call “free thinking”. They are those periods I have between tasks when I’m walking or sitting alone. During my “free thinking” time I usually run through so many separate thoughts that nothing sticks, and I can’t enjoy the time. This is where today differed. Today, it was as if someone took away nine of the books and said, “Read this one and let me know when you’re done.” I have a chance to enjoy and analyze. Why do I explain this? I really don’t know to be honest. Perhaps it is because I myself am just now understanding the differences between my thinking habits. For an introvert like myself, thinking is something that takes up most of the spare time. Having this experience of clarity has caused me to record this, as well as further analyze my own thought processes. Do I care if anyone ever sees this? Of course not. This is for self expansion and expression, and the involvement of others could not concern me. However I write this as if addressing some audience, so I shall continue to do so. Why the title? So far, it has had little to no relation to what I have been talking about. The “title”, if you will, comes from one of the thoughts I’ve been having today. As some may have observed, the temperature outside is dropping. Often a bit of a boring and predictable subject, but today my mind ravished itself on the crisp feeling of the air around me. I smiled at the chill that was sent through my body when the morning air touched my skin for the first time, and I have to say that the word comfort fits well with the feeling I had. My body was reacting in its natural way of course, but my mind was content. The cold air makes me feel at home. It reminds me of death, that the world is dying around me. This makes me feel at home and at peace, because it is real. It makes sense. I feel at home because others stray from the cold. People always associate warmer weather with being outside and social, and even though you can see people out and about during the winter season, they tend to always leave me alone when I’m bundled up and soaking in the cold. I can hear the wind now, strong and biting. Even though I have work ahead of me, I know my thoughts from the day will follow me to bed and possibly into tomorrow. I suppose my spilling of thoughts is coming to an end. I’ve used this website for what I believe to be its true purpose, which is self expression. I’m glad I could put it to some use, and perhaps I can continue to do so in the future.

Spending the day at Carowinds with my girl Katie and her friends Taylor and Lauren. Having a lot of fun :)